bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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