Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
