you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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