Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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