I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
