All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
