Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
