I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
