So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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