I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
