Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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