If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
