She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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