I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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