I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
