So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
