I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
