Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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