suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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