I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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