And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
