the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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