I just cut my nipple shaving
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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