Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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