I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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