I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
