GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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