if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
