So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
