I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
