did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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