You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
