He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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