sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
