I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
