do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
