According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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