so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
