I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
