Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
