you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
