I wish I could teleport
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
