My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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