i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
