wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
