don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
