oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i out mim tonsoeep
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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