omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
