we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
