I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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