that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
