I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Randomize
