is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
