Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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