seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
